For when the internet IS serious business

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
(no subject)
lazzchan wrote in rage_free

So I fail, sorry everyone. I blame early morning-ness to not get the name. I was pretty sure it was a joke, but sometimes the truth is stranger than what we want to believe. Sorry~

I can't even fathom this piece of...

I really hope this sort of thing is a joke. The comments alone from this woman just have me gaping in disbelief. I really hope that she isn't serious at all, that it's some sort of ... I don't know what.


Setting Your Gay Daughter Straight
by Ann Thrope

So you never had the time to socialize your daughter with boys and your husband took her on a few too many hunting trips. You saw her mature into a young woman, throw out all her pink clothes behind your back, dump her middle school boyfriends week after week, and try out for the girl’s basketball team. It may tear you up to think about it, but it isn’t too late to bring her back, or at least, stop her from going butch.

There are a number of effective strategies for setting your gay daughter straight that have been developed over the years. We here at the Ladies’ Monthly bring you the three most effective that we have encountered.

1. Moral Pressure
Remind your daughter of the moral atrocity she is committing, as well as the ramifications of her decisions to her God. Explain how gay sex cannot produce children, and how gay marriage still remains illegal. If she is not far gone, simply mentioning her family commitments may be enough to snap her out of it.

2. Doll Her Up
In middle stages it can be more work to influence your daughter’s lifestyle choices. Shower her with gifts like makeup and new girls’ clothes to replace her baggy blue jeans and hockey jerseys. Redecorate her room and transform it into an inviting boudoir for any potential male suitors, but keep it girly to deter any homosexual use. Buy her movies like Snow White, The Princess Bride, and Cinderella, along with music by artists like Dolly Parton, Neil Young, and Britney Spears. Avoid new artists like Lady Gaga or you may have a prissy glamor lesbian on your hands before you can say “Alejandro.”

3. The Bait and Switch
Our last, but most effective strategy. The Bait and Switch should be your last resort. However, it is a very powerful tool, and you are not likely to be disappointed. Wait until an important event, like Homecoming or Prom. Knowing your daughter, she won’t have a date, so it’s your job to set her up with a nice boy. Since at this late stage she will surely refuse, you’ll need to outwit her. Set her up with an attractive young lady. She’ll see your actions as a motion of respect and acceptance of who she is, and she will most surely agree. What she won’t know is that her elegant suitor is actually a transvestite. He will use his skills to seduce her as a woman, maybe even making her fall in love. After the dresses come off, she’ll be given the surprise of a lifetime, a night she will not soon forget.

Some of her comments

Ann Thrope says:
August 19th, 2010 at 3:32 PM

I was producing a narrative. I wasn’t trying to say something like the entire WNBA is composed of bull-dykes, but how far off would that be, really? That’s the idea of a narrative, to weave together common knowledge into a coherent restatement of the nature of the subject as a whole and to entice the reader with juicy details. Are you trying to say that lesbians don’t like basketball? Or that basketball and other physical contact sports do not lead girls to become physically comfortable, even attracted, to one another? I thought this was just common knowledge, its why no self-respecting woman I know will ever encourage their daughters to play contact sports. Lesbians are a lower-class minority, with rare exceptions. I don’t want my daughters playing field hockey with oversexed carpet-munchers. Its not natural, and its not going to make me any grandchildren.

Ann Thrope says:
August 19th, 2010 at 3:42 PM

In my experience as a woman there are two kinds of lesbians, whores and tomboys. Some whores are just oversexed women who have had their snatches stuffed by so many men that they want to feel again and so they seek the company of a woman while others don’t even do it for a change of scenery, but rather, go eatin’ peaches in a move to feel different or to reject their parents.

Tomboys are just girls who think men’s clothing is “more comfortable” and prefer the social company of masculine men to the social company of feminine women. As a result, these women constantly hear their closest friends talking about how hot every woman is that passes by, and she begins to have sympathy for the male sex drive. Not soon afterward, perhaps after a drunken makeout/sex session with a female friend, she’ll be turned over to the dark side.

I don’t mean to offend, I thought this was all just common knowledge.

  • 1
The only "common knowledge" here is that you are the detritus that has settled to the bottom of the barrel, you terrible, disgusting person.



Holy shit, what is wrong with this woman?

The fact that people like this actually exist and are apparently serious breaks my mind.

holy fucking christ. what? just WHAT

Comment by the article author: "Why do you automatically assume I don’t believe in pre-marital sex? If my daughter would get knocked up it would save me a lot of time and money hiring transvestites. They aren’t cheap, especially when you need 3-4 Vietnamese lady-boys just to make her wet."

I'm going to say troll.

I'm thinking that too. It's just way too over the top to be taken seriously.

Yeah, I know there are people who have these kinds of atrociously awful opinions, but she seems to be expressing them in such a way that comes off more as trolling than anything.

I think this is some sort of elaborate troll blog. I thought it was real at first, but the last bit about the transvestite and the comments, idk.

Also that her name is (Miss) Ann Thrope.
And that it's called "The Ladies Monthly."

This has to be a troll. I can't see anyone objecting to lesbianism on moral ground encouraging parents to turn their sons gay.

Ah but 30 seconds investigation shows that it's a parody blog - sending up Uptight Privileged Girly White Women by the look of it). In questionable taste, perhaps, and not what we'd all call comedy, but it's fairly clearly not intended to be taken seriously.

Clue: title - "The Ladies Monthly" (hur hur)
Clue: author - [Miss] Ann Thrope

see also all the other stories - things like "Changing Yourself For The Man You Already Have", "New Disorder for Kids Without ADHD", "Gift Ideas For That Time of the Month", "Finding A Mirror Anywhere", "Teaching your Baby to use Makeup"... and so on and so forth.

ETA: not to mention the beauty tip article "Shave Your Bum In Four Gentle Strokes".

Edited at 2011-05-14 12:21 pm (UTC)

there's also "Getting The Gay Son You Always Wanted." so yes, she's probably not serious, but hipster homophobia is like hipster racism; bigotry for the sake of being funny is still actually bigotry.

Ah but 30 seconds investigation shows that it's a parody blog

LOL, as I was reading the article, I was thinking, "This has to be satire!".

People are still falling for this? The author is Miss Ann Thrope, for fuck's sake.

I'd read it as Ann Thorpe...which is the name of someone I've actually met before.

One big troll-article but I did laugh at the ridiculousness of this comment from the author:

"I personally made my daughter in my womb, and I can tell you firsthand that I didn’t make her gay."

Yeah I'm relieved it's just parody but it's not far off from what some people really thing. It seems in pretty poor taste.

  • 1

Log in

No account? Create an account